Given my earlier post this morning, this is a bit of a surprise, but trust me it is a big shock for us too.
About 8:00 this morning the nursing home staff took my father in his wheelchair to breakfast. He was talking with them and everything seemed normal. About 8:15 he appeared to fall asleep in his wheelchair. It was the eternal sleep of death. I'll post more later, right now I am not entirely sure what to say.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Dad and Monica
It's been a week since the burial and things around here are beginning to settle down. Dad is doing a bit better, but his mental condition is still a bit unstable at times. I would estimate that he is mostly lucid 80% of the time and 20% of the time he is confused. Actually, it's more like 40% lucid, 10% confused, and 50% asleep. He has been sleeping a lot. Also, he has been having very painful back/neck muscle spasms.
His main gripe (other than the pain) is the quality of the food at the nursing home. This morning Monica, our eldest (23), got up fairly early and she made muffins. I plan n taking him a couple of blueberry muffins shortly after they come out of the oven. Hopefully he will eat these. I will admit that Monica had a bit of an ulterior motive. Her boyfriend flies into IAH around lunchtime today and she is driving down to pick him up. She wanted some food for the road. He will be in town for about 2 weeks on furlough from the marines.
His main gripe (other than the pain) is the quality of the food at the nursing home. This morning Monica, our eldest (23), got up fairly early and she made muffins. I plan n taking him a couple of blueberry muffins shortly after they come out of the oven. Hopefully he will eat these. I will admit that Monica had a bit of an ulterior motive. Her boyfriend flies into IAH around lunchtime today and she is driving down to pick him up. She wanted some food for the road. He will be in town for about 2 weeks on furlough from the marines.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Burial
Saturday was the day set up for the burial. My wife and I left here around 7:15 in the morning with Sylvia following is a separate vehicle. The trip is about a 4 and a half hour drive north. The plan was to let her attend the burial and then return to Dallas for school. We got into town right on schedule, around 11:45, and tried to grab a quick bite of lunch. It seems like there was some sort of collegiate sporting event in town, since the subway we stopped at had a bus load of girls from Concordia university parked in front and another group from LaTourneau showed up. We looked in and saw the line, and then noticed the line was mainly for the restroom. We quickly slipped in the food line and it did not take too long to get our sandwiches. We then changed clothes and headed for the cemetery.
As we drove up to the cemetery we saw the traditional blue tent with chairs set up. There was only one person present at that time, the funeral director. Over the next 20 minutes 2 of mom's friends and one of my friends showed up, along with the minister.
The service was very brief, maybe 10 minutes and we commended mom's body back to the earth. They said that it wold take maybe an hour to finish the actual burial and that we should go on for a little while and return later. We went over to my friends parents house (I have known them for 30 years) and had a nice 2 hour visit, then returned to the graveside. We took a few pictures and said a few prayers and then left to look around town.
We went by the store that my father (and mother) owned downtown on the courthouse square and then over to my grandparent's house. The time was now about 4:10 and we decided to drive by the Catholic church and look at it. As we drove by we noticed a few people parking and getting out of their cars. It seems that the vigil Mass started at 4:30, so we parked and attended Mass. After Mass we drove my my old house and then headed back out of town, planning on getting dinner on the way home.
We ate dinner at a Chili's and it was a nice meal, but as the hour got later and later, we got more and more sleepy. After a serious discussion about spending the night along the way we decided to go ahead and drive back and if either one of us got too sleepy to stay awake, then we would find a motel and stop for the night. Fortunately we did not get too sleepy and arrived safely home around 11:30 that evening.
It was a very long day, but seeing a few people I knew at the burial helped in saying good bye to my mom.
May the Lord bless and keep her and may his perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.
As we drove up to the cemetery we saw the traditional blue tent with chairs set up. There was only one person present at that time, the funeral director. Over the next 20 minutes 2 of mom's friends and one of my friends showed up, along with the minister.
The service was very brief, maybe 10 minutes and we commended mom's body back to the earth. They said that it wold take maybe an hour to finish the actual burial and that we should go on for a little while and return later. We went over to my friends parents house (I have known them for 30 years) and had a nice 2 hour visit, then returned to the graveside. We took a few pictures and said a few prayers and then left to look around town.
We went by the store that my father (and mother) owned downtown on the courthouse square and then over to my grandparent's house. The time was now about 4:10 and we decided to drive by the Catholic church and look at it. As we drove by we noticed a few people parking and getting out of their cars. It seems that the vigil Mass started at 4:30, so we parked and attended Mass. After Mass we drove my my old house and then headed back out of town, planning on getting dinner on the way home.
We ate dinner at a Chili's and it was a nice meal, but as the hour got later and later, we got more and more sleepy. After a serious discussion about spending the night along the way we decided to go ahead and drive back and if either one of us got too sleepy to stay awake, then we would find a motel and stop for the night. Fortunately we did not get too sleepy and arrived safely home around 11:30 that evening.
It was a very long day, but seeing a few people I knew at the burial helped in saying good bye to my mom.
May the Lord bless and keep her and may his perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Mom's Obituary
Jeanne Whiteacre, 82, of College Station, passed away Thursday at the College Station Medical Center. Funeral services are scheduled for 3:00 p.m. Friday September 4 at Memorial Funeral Chapel in College Station. Burial will be at 1:00 p.m. Saturday September 5 at West Hill Cemetery in Sherman, Texas.
Mrs. Whiteacre was born December 23, 1926 in Gainesville, Texas and was a graduate of SMU in Dallas. She and her husband, Bill, moved to College Station in 1998 to be close to their grandchildren and son and daughter-in-law. She loved to needle point and became a well known designer of needle point canvases.
She is survived by her husband of over 50 years, Bill Whiteacre; her son and daughter-in-law, Matt and Jari Whiteacre; and five grandchildren, Monica, Sylvia, Alicia, John Paul, and Veronica Whiteacre, all of College Station.
Memorials may be made to the Public Libraries, or a charity of choice.
Mrs. Whiteacre was born December 23, 1926 in Gainesville, Texas and was a graduate of SMU in Dallas. She and her husband, Bill, moved to College Station in 1998 to be close to their grandchildren and son and daughter-in-law. She loved to needle point and became a well known designer of needle point canvases.
She is survived by her husband of over 50 years, Bill Whiteacre; her son and daughter-in-law, Matt and Jari Whiteacre; and five grandchildren, Monica, Sylvia, Alicia, John Paul, and Veronica Whiteacre, all of College Station.
Memorials may be made to the Public Libraries, or a charity of choice.
Setting up a Funeral
Yesterday was an interesting day. It started with Jari and I going to the nursing home and telling dad that mom had passed away during the night. When we walked into the room we told him hello and were going to talk about a few things and then broach the subject on mom. The first words from his mouth were, predictably, How is Jeanne doing? He actually took the news fairly well, clenching our hands and holding back tears for a moment or two. We talked for another half hour or soa dn then Jari left to talk to church and the funreal home. I stayed with my dad for another 45 minutes or so until he asked me to get the nurse to give him a sedative so he could rest. I did and then I slipped out.
Once out I called Jari and she had been at church talking with the priest and had not yet been by the funeral home. We agreed to meet at home and then go out together to the funeral home.
The process at the funeral home was interesting. I never know what all services a funeral home really did. They not only prepare the body for burial and provide the casket, but they arrange for the death certificates and take care of a lot of the behind the scenes work. To get a certified death certificate you need to have the deceased's parent's name. We had to come back home and look that information up. We also had to go by the florist and arrange for flowers. We had to call the church and select readings and arrange the service. It's just a lot of running around and organizing.
We talked to Sylvia and she came home late last ngiht and is planning on going to the funeral service today and then driving with us to Sherman tomorrow to attecd the graveside service. From there she will drive back to college directly and Jari and I will come back home.
Once out I called Jari and she had been at church talking with the priest and had not yet been by the funeral home. We agreed to meet at home and then go out together to the funeral home.
The process at the funeral home was interesting. I never know what all services a funeral home really did. They not only prepare the body for burial and provide the casket, but they arrange for the death certificates and take care of a lot of the behind the scenes work. To get a certified death certificate you need to have the deceased's parent's name. We had to come back home and look that information up. We also had to go by the florist and arrange for flowers. We had to call the church and select readings and arrange the service. It's just a lot of running around and organizing.
We talked to Sylvia and she came home late last ngiht and is planning on going to the funeral service today and then driving with us to Sherman tomorrow to attecd the graveside service. From there she will drive back to college directly and Jari and I will come back home.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
RIP Mary Jeanne Whiteacre
When I started this blog a week or so ago I did not expect to be writing this post nearly so soon, but it goes to show you that we don't know everything.
My mother's rapid demise began when she broke her leg. I think that somehow she reached a decision a few days later that she had decided that it was not worth the effort to continue to live. She virtually stopped eating this past weekend and was not very social whenever we went to visit. She slept a lot and talked even less.
Wednesday night around 7:00 we got a phone call from the nursing home. John Paul took the call and they said my mother was being taken to the hospital. I was out running errand when Monica relayed the message to me. I quickly finished up and headed to the hospital. I got there around 7:45 and was told that they were getting her settled in the back and I could go back in a little bit.
Well, it was nearly 8:45 before I got back to see her. When she arrived at the ER, her core body temperature was just under 93 degrees. They did a CT scan of the brain and I assume that showed nothing unusual, but I was never really briefed about the results. Looking at her urine there was obviously some sort of an infection in the bladder or somewhere around there. She was being partially sedated to make her more comfortable and to keep her calmer. She did reach out to me and I held her hand for about 15 minutes and then intermittently for the next hour. She was on a ventilator and was wrapped in the special air blankets where they pump warm air in to raise a persons temperature. By about 10:00 they had her about as stable as they could get her and they transferred her to ICU.
Jari joined me as they were admitting her to ICU. The doctor there was very good and talked with us at great length about lots of stuff. When a person comes in with an infection and a LOW body temperature it is a really bad thing. My mom had a directive to physicians that no extraordinary means be taken to keep her alive. We talked and realize that this might be (probably was) such a situation and we agreed that they would administer antibiotics and IV fluids and continue the respirator during the night, but not get very invasive and aggressive.
The doctor politely send Jari and I home to get a decent nights rest and told us that they would call the cell phone if anything was happening. We got home around 11:15. Around 11:45 we got a call from ICU. As my mother's body temperature rose, her blood vessels began to relx and dialate a bit. THis caused her blood pressure to start to drop. At that time her blood pressure had dropped from where it was (~100/50) after they stabilized her to about 60/30. That was very much the beginning fo the end. About 12:15 am on Thursday September 3rd we got the call that she had died a few minutes before.
My mother's rapid demise began when she broke her leg. I think that somehow she reached a decision a few days later that she had decided that it was not worth the effort to continue to live. She virtually stopped eating this past weekend and was not very social whenever we went to visit. She slept a lot and talked even less.
Wednesday night around 7:00 we got a phone call from the nursing home. John Paul took the call and they said my mother was being taken to the hospital. I was out running errand when Monica relayed the message to me. I quickly finished up and headed to the hospital. I got there around 7:45 and was told that they were getting her settled in the back and I could go back in a little bit.
Well, it was nearly 8:45 before I got back to see her. When she arrived at the ER, her core body temperature was just under 93 degrees. They did a CT scan of the brain and I assume that showed nothing unusual, but I was never really briefed about the results. Looking at her urine there was obviously some sort of an infection in the bladder or somewhere around there. She was being partially sedated to make her more comfortable and to keep her calmer. She did reach out to me and I held her hand for about 15 minutes and then intermittently for the next hour. She was on a ventilator and was wrapped in the special air blankets where they pump warm air in to raise a persons temperature. By about 10:00 they had her about as stable as they could get her and they transferred her to ICU.
Jari joined me as they were admitting her to ICU. The doctor there was very good and talked with us at great length about lots of stuff. When a person comes in with an infection and a LOW body temperature it is a really bad thing. My mom had a directive to physicians that no extraordinary means be taken to keep her alive. We talked and realize that this might be (probably was) such a situation and we agreed that they would administer antibiotics and IV fluids and continue the respirator during the night, but not get very invasive and aggressive.
The doctor politely send Jari and I home to get a decent nights rest and told us that they would call the cell phone if anything was happening. We got home around 11:15. Around 11:45 we got a call from ICU. As my mother's body temperature rose, her blood vessels began to relx and dialate a bit. THis caused her blood pressure to start to drop. At that time her blood pressure had dropped from where it was (~100/50) after they stabilized her to about 60/30. That was very much the beginning fo the end. About 12:15 am on Thursday September 3rd we got the call that she had died a few minutes before.
Monday, August 31, 2009
The Weekend
It is now Monday morning and I am back at the office for the first week of classes. Actually I have now been at the office for 3 hours. This weekend was one of those that usually makes one look forward to getting back to work so that things will slow down. The trouble is, as I said, this is the first week of classes.
Let's first talk about my parents. My Dad seems to be doing better, but he has developed (well it has worsened) a cough. Hopefully it is not the pneumonia coming back. He also has a pain in his mid-section that we want to get the doctors to look at some time this week. Hopefully it is nothing really serious. It is my mom that I am now worried about. Over the weekend she has barely eaten anything. As a matter of fact, on Sunday she literally did not eat or drink anything as best the nursing home staff could determine. We'll see where this goes, but it does not look like it is heading in a positive direction.
I do think that Alilcia is now completely recovered from her wisdom teeth extraction. We go back to the dentist this week to confirm that, but she seems to be doing fine now. And I think Sylvia is getting over whatever it was that was ailing her as well.
Let's first talk about my parents. My Dad seems to be doing better, but he has developed (well it has worsened) a cough. Hopefully it is not the pneumonia coming back. He also has a pain in his mid-section that we want to get the doctors to look at some time this week. Hopefully it is nothing really serious. It is my mom that I am now worried about. Over the weekend she has barely eaten anything. As a matter of fact, on Sunday she literally did not eat or drink anything as best the nursing home staff could determine. We'll see where this goes, but it does not look like it is heading in a positive direction.
I do think that Alilcia is now completely recovered from her wisdom teeth extraction. We go back to the dentist this week to confirm that, but she seems to be doing fine now. And I think Sylvia is getting over whatever it was that was ailing her as well.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Matt's Mother
In the just when you thought things were getting better... vein, we got a call from the Nursing home Monday night around 9:00. It seems that my mother was found on the floor of her room next to the bed. Apparently she had fallen out of bed around 4:30 that afternoon. This was the second time it had happened in the last week, but the first time her just scraped her leg a bit. This time the knee was swelling also. They patched her up again and put her back in bed.
At 9:00 they came back to give her her night time medicine and noticed that the knee was VERY swollen and the bruising was extensive. That is when they called us and told us they were taking her to the ER. Jari volunteered to head up to the hospital and be with her while I got a bit of rest.
Well, about 9:30 the nursing home called again. My mother was refusing to go with the EMT's to the hospital. I got re-dressed (I had just changed for bed) and headed up to the nursing home to talk to her. For those of you who know my mother she can be a very stubborn woman and I fully see her not wanting to go.
I got there about 9;45 and spent about 15 minutes talking her into going. I rode with her in the ambulance to the hospital. She acutally went fairly peacefully and it was not a bad trip. Once we got through all the preliminary stuff (paperwork) they took an X-ray and determined that her had broken her tibia (the large bone of the lower leg) just below the knee on her right leg. That is the paralyzed leg for those that are wondering.
Jari and I talked with the ER doctor at some length about the break and the best treatment plan. Since the leg will never be load bearing again and any treatment would be somewhat invasive, we decided to just let it be and wait the 4 or so week it takes for new bone to knit in place. They put her on pain medication and sent her back home that evening (well about 12:30 am the next morning). She was to follow up with her family doctor and the orthopedic specialist within 48 hours.
The orthopedist agreed with the ER doctor and we have told the nursing staff to just be very careful when moving her since it will be painful for quite some time.
With any luck that will be our emergency for this week and we're safe until the coming weekend. That is unless you count our children...
At 9:00 they came back to give her her night time medicine and noticed that the knee was VERY swollen and the bruising was extensive. That is when they called us and told us they were taking her to the ER. Jari volunteered to head up to the hospital and be with her while I got a bit of rest.
Well, about 9:30 the nursing home called again. My mother was refusing to go with the EMT's to the hospital. I got re-dressed (I had just changed for bed) and headed up to the nursing home to talk to her. For those of you who know my mother she can be a very stubborn woman and I fully see her not wanting to go.
I got there about 9;45 and spent about 15 minutes talking her into going. I rode with her in the ambulance to the hospital. She acutally went fairly peacefully and it was not a bad trip. Once we got through all the preliminary stuff (paperwork) they took an X-ray and determined that her had broken her tibia (the large bone of the lower leg) just below the knee on her right leg. That is the paralyzed leg for those that are wondering.
Jari and I talked with the ER doctor at some length about the break and the best treatment plan. Since the leg will never be load bearing again and any treatment would be somewhat invasive, we decided to just let it be and wait the 4 or so week it takes for new bone to knit in place. They put her on pain medication and sent her back home that evening (well about 12:30 am the next morning). She was to follow up with her family doctor and the orthopedic specialist within 48 hours.
The orthopedist agreed with the ER doctor and we have told the nursing staff to just be very careful when moving her since it will be painful for quite some time.
With any luck that will be our emergency for this week and we're safe until the coming weekend. That is unless you count our children...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Matt's Dad
This is going to be a sort of historical post, starting about 3 months back when my dad fell and broke his left hip. It was a simple enough fall in the bathroom when he was brushing his teeth and he lost his balance and toppled over backwards. The day sitter cleaned him up and got my mom's extra wheelchair for him to use for a few days. It was really no big deal. Well 3 days later the bruise was still spreading and he kept complaning abot it hurting more and more, so we took him into the hospital and they found the crack in his pelvis. Three pins and 5 days later he was virtually good as new and went back home.
For several weeks he stayed mostly in his wheelchair and then started using a walker. He would occasinally fall with just the walker, but he was stubborn and wanted to use it anyway. Of course, eventually he would fall and cause more damage. This time 3 cracked ribs. We were somewhat more prepared for this since we had installed one of these lifeline help call buttons, so when he fell, he pressed the button and we could respond quickly. With cracked ribs there is not a whole lot to do, so that did not even merit a night in the hospital.
Following this he was a bit more contrite and took things slowly but he did slowly gain his strength back and his balance imporved. It looked like he was seriously on the mend. He started walking as well as he had for a few years and the walker got left behind most of the time.
This brings us to the night of the 30th of July. That night, about 8:00 he was serving himself and my mom ice cream and while he was sliding my mom's bowl across the counter to her he lost his balance and fell splat in teh middle of the kitchen floor. The day sitter called me and I went over. We helped him into the wheelchair and tried to see if he wanted to eat his ice cream before we called the ambulance. He did not it hurt so bad. This was a good sign that this one was a big deal, since last time he waited 3 days before calling.
And it was a big break. He basically shattered the joint and the surgeon had to put a post down his femur and a socket attached into his pelvis. They then stitched him up and he stayed in the hospital for a week. Before the surgery he spent nearly 24 hours in the hospital during which time he talked with Jari or me abotu what happened and the things going on with him and my mom. When he came out of surgery he was in the fog that all people are who are on anesthesia. THe bad news is that after 24 hours it did nto wear off. He forgot things (virtually everything) about the here and now. He kept drifting amoung times in his life as if they were the present. He had a full fledged case of dementia. This did not clear up after another day, not even after another week.
This left Jari and I with a difficult decision. Actually it was not a difficult one, since the only real choice was a nursing home until his mind came back and his physical mobility improved. it was the secondary decision that was hard, to move my mom in with him in the nursing home. He moved in the nursing home on August 7th and she joined him on August 10th. At this time he still did not know what was happening. in other posts I'll give a few examples of his thinking, but he wanted to take the elevator to the second floor of a one story building.
That Friday, August 10th we got a call at 6:00 in the morning that my dad was having trouble breathing and that his pulse was a bit weak and his blood oxygen level was low. They were transporting him to the ER. Jari and I took turns staying with him over the weekend, since it was a bit touch and go for a while. He had been bleeding in his colon and had pneumonia. They gave him 3 units of blood and checked him out with a CT scan of his lungs. They found a blood clot in his right lung and the culture from his bowel showed a bacterial infection. They put him on a bunch of drugs and he slept a whole lot but after a few days he began to pull out of it.
By the 20th he was beginning do actually come around and him dementia was much better. I got a phone call on the 21st and it was actually my dad. He said "THEY'RE TRYING TO PUT ME IN A NURSING HOME!!!!!!". I took sick leave immediately and went up to the hospital. I had a long discussion with him during which time Jari joined me. I explained all that had been happening and he took the information in. He did nto remember much of it, but he accepted that he had been in the nursing home before and that he needed to go back unti lhe cold get his leg strength back. Finally I went out to What-a-Burger and got the three of us lunch and we all ate together. In some ways that may be one of the more special meals I have ever had, since dad really was beginning to understand what was happening around him.
It was the next day before he was actually able to return to the nursing home. Once he got back it was very touching to see he and my mom reunited after being apart for over a week.
Anyway, that is the latest information about my dad.
For several weeks he stayed mostly in his wheelchair and then started using a walker. He would occasinally fall with just the walker, but he was stubborn and wanted to use it anyway. Of course, eventually he would fall and cause more damage. This time 3 cracked ribs. We were somewhat more prepared for this since we had installed one of these lifeline help call buttons, so when he fell, he pressed the button and we could respond quickly. With cracked ribs there is not a whole lot to do, so that did not even merit a night in the hospital.
Following this he was a bit more contrite and took things slowly but he did slowly gain his strength back and his balance imporved. It looked like he was seriously on the mend. He started walking as well as he had for a few years and the walker got left behind most of the time.
This brings us to the night of the 30th of July. That night, about 8:00 he was serving himself and my mom ice cream and while he was sliding my mom's bowl across the counter to her he lost his balance and fell splat in teh middle of the kitchen floor. The day sitter called me and I went over. We helped him into the wheelchair and tried to see if he wanted to eat his ice cream before we called the ambulance. He did not it hurt so bad. This was a good sign that this one was a big deal, since last time he waited 3 days before calling.
And it was a big break. He basically shattered the joint and the surgeon had to put a post down his femur and a socket attached into his pelvis. They then stitched him up and he stayed in the hospital for a week. Before the surgery he spent nearly 24 hours in the hospital during which time he talked with Jari or me abotu what happened and the things going on with him and my mom. When he came out of surgery he was in the fog that all people are who are on anesthesia. THe bad news is that after 24 hours it did nto wear off. He forgot things (virtually everything) about the here and now. He kept drifting amoung times in his life as if they were the present. He had a full fledged case of dementia. This did not clear up after another day, not even after another week.
This left Jari and I with a difficult decision. Actually it was not a difficult one, since the only real choice was a nursing home until his mind came back and his physical mobility improved. it was the secondary decision that was hard, to move my mom in with him in the nursing home. He moved in the nursing home on August 7th and she joined him on August 10th. At this time he still did not know what was happening. in other posts I'll give a few examples of his thinking, but he wanted to take the elevator to the second floor of a one story building.
That Friday, August 10th we got a call at 6:00 in the morning that my dad was having trouble breathing and that his pulse was a bit weak and his blood oxygen level was low. They were transporting him to the ER. Jari and I took turns staying with him over the weekend, since it was a bit touch and go for a while. He had been bleeding in his colon and had pneumonia. They gave him 3 units of blood and checked him out with a CT scan of his lungs. They found a blood clot in his right lung and the culture from his bowel showed a bacterial infection. They put him on a bunch of drugs and he slept a whole lot but after a few days he began to pull out of it.
By the 20th he was beginning do actually come around and him dementia was much better. I got a phone call on the 21st and it was actually my dad. He said "THEY'RE TRYING TO PUT ME IN A NURSING HOME!!!!!!". I took sick leave immediately and went up to the hospital. I had a long discussion with him during which time Jari joined me. I explained all that had been happening and he took the information in. He did nto remember much of it, but he accepted that he had been in the nursing home before and that he needed to go back unti lhe cold get his leg strength back. Finally I went out to What-a-Burger and got the three of us lunch and we all ate together. In some ways that may be one of the more special meals I have ever had, since dad really was beginning to understand what was happening around him.
It was the next day before he was actually able to return to the nursing home. Once he got back it was very touching to see he and my mom reunited after being apart for over a week.
Anyway, that is the latest information about my dad.
Purpose
I figured I'd start this blog to help me and my family keep track of what is happening in our lives and to help share that with whoever has way too much time on their hands and wants to read about our family's trials and tribulations.
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