Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Father Just passed away

Given my earlier post this morning, this is a bit of a surprise, but trust me it is a big shock for us too.

About 8:00 this morning the nursing home staff took my father in his wheelchair to breakfast. He was talking with them and everything seemed normal. About 8:15 he appeared to fall asleep in his wheelchair. It was the eternal sleep of death. I'll post more later, right now I am not entirely sure what to say.

Dad and Monica

It's been a week since the burial and things around here are beginning to settle down. Dad is doing a bit better, but his mental condition is still a bit unstable at times. I would estimate that he is mostly lucid 80% of the time and 20% of the time he is confused. Actually, it's more like 40% lucid, 10% confused, and 50% asleep. He has been sleeping a lot. Also, he has been having very painful back/neck muscle spasms.

His main gripe (other than the pain) is the quality of the food at the nursing home. This morning Monica, our eldest (23), got up fairly early and she made muffins. I plan n taking him a couple of blueberry muffins shortly after they come out of the oven. Hopefully he will eat these. I will admit that Monica had a bit of an ulterior motive. Her boyfriend flies into IAH around lunchtime today and she is driving down to pick him up. She wanted some food for the road. He will be in town for about 2 weeks on furlough from the marines.

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Burial

Saturday was the day set up for the burial. My wife and I left here around 7:15 in the morning with Sylvia following is a separate vehicle. The trip is about a 4 and a half hour drive north. The plan was to let her attend the burial and then return to Dallas for school. We got into town right on schedule, around 11:45, and tried to grab a quick bite of lunch. It seems like there was some sort of collegiate sporting event in town, since the subway we stopped at had a bus load of girls from Concordia university parked in front and another group from LaTourneau showed up. We looked in and saw the line, and then noticed the line was mainly for the restroom. We quickly slipped in the food line and it did not take too long to get our sandwiches. We then changed clothes and headed for the cemetery.

As we drove up to the cemetery we saw the traditional blue tent with chairs set up. There was only one person present at that time, the funeral director. Over the next 20 minutes 2 of mom's friends and one of my friends showed up, along with the minister.

The service was very brief, maybe 10 minutes and we commended mom's body back to the earth. They said that it wold take maybe an hour to finish the actual burial and that we should go on for a little while and return later. We went over to my friends parents house (I have known them for 30 years) and had a nice 2 hour visit, then returned to the graveside. We took a few pictures and said a few prayers and then left to look around town.

We went by the store that my father (and mother) owned downtown on the courthouse square and then over to my grandparent's house. The time was now about 4:10 and we decided to drive by the Catholic church and look at it. As we drove by we noticed a few people parking and getting out of their cars. It seems that the vigil Mass started at 4:30, so we parked and attended Mass. After Mass we drove my my old house and then headed back out of town, planning on getting dinner on the way home.

We ate dinner at a Chili's and it was a nice meal, but as the hour got later and later, we got more and more sleepy. After a serious discussion about spending the night along the way we decided to go ahead and drive back and if either one of us got too sleepy to stay awake, then we would find a motel and stop for the night. Fortunately we did not get too sleepy and arrived safely home around 11:30 that evening.

It was a very long day, but seeing a few people I knew at the burial helped in saying good bye to my mom.

May the Lord bless and keep her and may his perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Mom's Obituary

Jeanne Whiteacre, 82, of College Station, passed away Thursday at the College Station Medical Center. Funeral services are scheduled for 3:00 p.m. Friday September 4 at Memorial Funeral Chapel in College Station. Burial will be at 1:00 p.m. Saturday September 5 at West Hill Cemetery in Sherman, Texas.
Mrs. Whiteacre was born December 23, 1926 in Gainesville, Texas and was a graduate of SMU in Dallas. She and her husband, Bill, moved to College Station in 1998 to be close to their grandchildren and son and daughter-in-law. She loved to needle point and became a well known designer of needle point canvases.
She is survived by her husband of over 50 years, Bill Whiteacre; her son and daughter-in-law, Matt and Jari Whiteacre; and five grandchildren, Monica, Sylvia, Alicia, John Paul, and Veronica Whiteacre, all of College Station.
Memorials may be made to the Public Libraries, or a charity of choice.

Setting up a Funeral

Yesterday was an interesting day. It started with Jari and I going to the nursing home and telling dad that mom had passed away during the night. When we walked into the room we told him hello and were going to talk about a few things and then broach the subject on mom. The first words from his mouth were, predictably, How is Jeanne doing? He actually took the news fairly well, clenching our hands and holding back tears for a moment or two. We talked for another half hour or soa dn then Jari left to talk to church and the funreal home. I stayed with my dad for another 45 minutes or so until he asked me to get the nurse to give him a sedative so he could rest. I did and then I slipped out.

Once out I called Jari and she had been at church talking with the priest and had not yet been by the funeral home. We agreed to meet at home and then go out together to the funeral home.

The process at the funeral home was interesting. I never know what all services a funeral home really did. They not only prepare the body for burial and provide the casket, but they arrange for the death certificates and take care of a lot of the behind the scenes work. To get a certified death certificate you need to have the deceased's parent's name. We had to come back home and look that information up. We also had to go by the florist and arrange for flowers. We had to call the church and select readings and arrange the service. It's just a lot of running around and organizing.

We talked to Sylvia and she came home late last ngiht and is planning on going to the funeral service today and then driving with us to Sherman tomorrow to attecd the graveside service. From there she will drive back to college directly and Jari and I will come back home.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

RIP Mary Jeanne Whiteacre

When I started this blog a week or so ago I did not expect to be writing this post nearly so soon, but it goes to show you that we don't know everything.

My mother's rapid demise began when she broke her leg. I think that somehow she reached a decision a few days later that she had decided that it was not worth the effort to continue to live. She virtually stopped eating this past weekend and was not very social whenever we went to visit. She slept a lot and talked even less.

Wednesday night around 7:00 we got a phone call from the nursing home. John Paul took the call and they said my mother was being taken to the hospital. I was out running errand when Monica relayed the message to me. I quickly finished up and headed to the hospital. I got there around 7:45 and was told that they were getting her settled in the back and I could go back in a little bit.

Well, it was nearly 8:45 before I got back to see her. When she arrived at the ER, her core body temperature was just under 93 degrees. They did a CT scan of the brain and I assume that showed nothing unusual, but I was never really briefed about the results. Looking at her urine there was obviously some sort of an infection in the bladder or somewhere around there. She was being partially sedated to make her more comfortable and to keep her calmer. She did reach out to me and I held her hand for about 15 minutes and then intermittently for the next hour. She was on a ventilator and was wrapped in the special air blankets where they pump warm air in to raise a persons temperature. By about 10:00 they had her about as stable as they could get her and they transferred her to ICU.

Jari joined me as they were admitting her to ICU. The doctor there was very good and talked with us at great length about lots of stuff. When a person comes in with an infection and a LOW body temperature it is a really bad thing. My mom had a directive to physicians that no extraordinary means be taken to keep her alive. We talked and realize that this might be (probably was) such a situation and we agreed that they would administer antibiotics and IV fluids and continue the respirator during the night, but not get very invasive and aggressive.

The doctor politely send Jari and I home to get a decent nights rest and told us that they would call the cell phone if anything was happening. We got home around 11:15. Around 11:45 we got a call from ICU. As my mother's body temperature rose, her blood vessels began to relx and dialate a bit. THis caused her blood pressure to start to drop. At that time her blood pressure had dropped from where it was (~100/50) after they stabilized her to about 60/30. That was very much the beginning fo the end. About 12:15 am on Thursday September 3rd we got the call that she had died a few minutes before.

Monday, August 31, 2009

The Weekend

It is now Monday morning and I am back at the office for the first week of classes. Actually I have now been at the office for 3 hours. This weekend was one of those that usually makes one look forward to getting back to work so that things will slow down. The trouble is, as I said, this is the first week of classes.

Let's first talk about my parents. My Dad seems to be doing better, but he has developed (well it has worsened) a cough. Hopefully it is not the pneumonia coming back. He also has a pain in his mid-section that we want to get the doctors to look at some time this week. Hopefully it is nothing really serious. It is my mom that I am now worried about. Over the weekend she has barely eaten anything. As a matter of fact, on Sunday she literally did not eat or drink anything as best the nursing home staff could determine. We'll see where this goes, but it does not look like it is heading in a positive direction.

I do think that Alilcia is now completely recovered from her wisdom teeth extraction. We go back to the dentist this week to confirm that, but she seems to be doing fine now. And I think Sylvia is getting over whatever it was that was ailing her as well.